What actually happened:
Heina Dadabhoy and I were friends who flirted and partied together for years. Shortly after they joined my blog network as a peer, I sent them a loveletter. It was cheesy but not offensive. They were nevertheless insulted, and listed in their response all the reasons they didn't like me—none of which had been communicated to me before, despite their having been unequivocally nice, friendly, and flirty with me for years. I apologized and never repeated any interest in them.
That's it.
That's all that happened.
How Do We Know That?
Because they said so. In Dadabhoy's correspondence with me about that loveletter (all submitted to the court as Plaintiff's Affidavit Exhibit 2, part of my Complaint Exhibit 25, "Affidavit of Dr. Richard Carrier," cf. Pars. 57-65), they wrote:
"You've been hinting heavily at this for months now...months of my wanting to tell you no but not being asked in a direct enough way for me to just say no and get it over with."
"It wasn't sharing your thoughts and feelings that was a problem. ... I'm not of the belief that communication is a wrong thing."
"I'm fine with nothing about our interactions changing."
"You haven't hurt me, harmed me, or offended me... . I'm annoyed at worst, and now, glad to clear the air, which has felt murky for a while."
Hence I wrote in my Affidavit, "in our e-mail correspondence after rejecting my singular advance, Heina Dadabhoy wrote to me that they did not request any of my behavior toward them to change, did not regard my letter to them as wrong, and admitted I had never expressed sexual interest before" (Par. 63). By "hinting" they can only mean my being nice or flirty or bantery; I never verbally hinted at starting anything with them. And their stated list of grievances against me did not involve any unwanted advances, touching, or harassment, or any violating of their consent (indeed, little to do with our interactions at all), demonstrating no such things happened (as surely they'd have brought them up here).
So this is all that happened. I asked for consent. They were glad I did. And I respected the no. I even apologized profusely; and they said I didn't need to, my behavior needn't change, they were not offended or harmed by it, and in fact glad to have had it out and resolved. I never repeated any advances toward them or indeed even flirted with them again. This was politely resolved between long time friends and peers. I had no more power over them than they did me. I crossed no stated boundaries but respected them all. It took place at no event. It was governed by no policy. And no harassment occurred.
So why is this incident being included? I don't know.