Oh, sorry, “Holiday Gift.” For those atheists who abhor the Christ in Christmas. Although we know everything distinctive of Christmas is pagan. And paganism is fun. So most of us atheists happily celebrate the pagan holiday under its now familiar moniker. Because it’s hilarious to call all this pagan shit Christ-mas. Besides, we can use Christian apologetics to prove Santa Claus exists and flies to other planets on a rocket. And we all know gods don’t exist anyway, so who cares what we call it. No one freaks out over Mighty Saturn’s Day, er, I mean, Saturday.

So, regardless. If you will be giving sinful filthy heathen gifts to people this coming Winter Solstice, you might consider my card game Stellar War. What the hell is that? It’s this. Which you can buy here. Have someone you’ll be gifting to who is a fan of my work or of fun but complicated tabletop games (the kind of games that freak out the squares), consider the game I invented in my childhood, Stellar War. I’ve even updated the box so the title is on the sides as well so you know where it is in your crazy giant stack of boxed games. There are other Christmas gift buying options besides the game, of course, which can help support my work in various ways. This article summarizes them. Although since then my average income has gone up ten grand, but I am now living on my own, and thus entirely supporting myself on a starving artist’s wage.

Below the fold are some spoilers, however. Spoilers that might make Stellar War more attractive as a gift idea. What spoilers? Pictures of the three cards I added to spice the game with some humor. They were included in the original release two years ago, intended to surprise players of the game. I’m now revealing the secret to everyone. Imagine drawing them randomly through the course of the game. A game that is about an interstellar war, the goal of which is to destroy as many ships and space stations of your enemies as possible.

Enjoy…

Photo of three playing cards on a light wooden tabletop, Action cards from the game Stellar War by Richard Carrier. Each has an icon, duplicated in the top left corner in miniature so the cards can be identified when held in a hand. The first on the left says Thingy and has an exclamation point as icon. The rules at bottom say If you are attacked, you may play this to seize control of any single offensive card (Including Chain Reaction, Drones, Detection, Mutiny, Commandos, and Cyborgs) played on any target in your fleet, or one hit on your fleet from a Nuclear Arsenal, and immediately redirect it onto any other target in the game, as if you just played it yourself, due to some thingy or other. The second card is titled Unicorn and shows a unicorn being thrown out of an airlock. The text says it Immediately dies in the vacuum of space. Then the rules at bottom say The audacity of its deployment stuns your opponents. You may discard as many cards from your hand as you wish and start your turn over (following rule 2.3). The third card says Jesus Christ and has the icon of the face of Jesus over a circle and cross. The text at bottom says The Lord and Savior of all Christendom finally returns as promised, after nineteen thousand and fifty eight years, proving that he did exist after all. No effect. The latter comes after a pause, indicating that the card has no effect on game play. The war continues. Jesus does nothing.

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